Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize