Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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