Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
