he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
