I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO