When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
