Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
