I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
