Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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