His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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