omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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