My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
