You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
MIDGETS
????
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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