you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
