so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
