Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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