TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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