Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
