I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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