Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
