So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
