i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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