The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
