apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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