Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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