one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
