Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
