I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
