he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
