his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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