afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
