The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Randomize
