Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
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You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
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I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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