I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
my liver is dry heaving
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
