she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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