New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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