Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize