I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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