Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize