I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
