Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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