Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
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