she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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