Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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