Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
