please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
