I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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