We should be called the Road Head Warriors
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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