Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
