Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
how drunk are you?
Several
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
