I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
