I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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