Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
