going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
