O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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