just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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