hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
They took my balls.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
