I faked an abortion last night.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize