What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
